When did you know your relationship was over? It is always a question that gets the most insightful response from people.
Learning to know when a relationship is over is the kind of life hack that people should be making YouTube tutorials on.
It is something most of us had to learn the hard way.
When you are younger, you often don’t know a relationship is over until something earth-shattering happens.
The reason has to be so juicy that it is worthy of a “Gossip Girl” story arc, something salacious and ridiculous.
He cheated on you or revealed he doesn’t want to have children, or he is actually the heir of Denmark, but the reality is that when you get older, the reasons relationships tend to end are much quieter.
When I was in my early 20s, the only way I knew a relationship was over is if the man just stopped returning my calls or slept with someone else and yet by the middle of my 20s, I felt with great certainty that I couldn’t keep dating a perfectly nice man because he used to boast he’d never read a book.
It was a big enough reason to skedaddle right out of that relationship.
A bunch of couples have shared the moment they knew their relationship was over, and their answers vary from big reasons to small ones.
• John shared that he knew his hot and heavy relationship was doomed when “I met his wife.” Spoiler, he didn’t know his boyfriend had a wife.
• Amy explained that infidelity was the final straw for her, and it was particularly icky how he did it.
“When I found out he was sleeping with someone he found on Craigslist, like please.”
• Eva realised the relationship was doomed after a very mundane moment.
“I made a very tame penis joke, and he had to stop walking because he was laughing so hard, and I realized the only time I laughed with him was at my own jokes.”
• Jess said that she didn’t have to experience full-blown traditional cheating to know the relationship was truly over.
“When I woke up, he was asleep on the lounge with a girl next to him,” she shared.
• Lana said that it was the heartbreak of realizing they weren’t on the same page and maybe never had been.
“When I flew to the UK to see him, I saw a bowl of condoms on his bedside table … I thought we were exclusive,” she said.
• Veronica said it wasn’t some big or dramatic moment, but rather she finally started listening to herself, and then the answer seemed obvious.
“I just woke up one day and realized how unhappy I was,” she said.
• Jake declared it was, “When she called my mom the c-word, that is when I knew we couldn’t come back from that.”
• Erica admits that her ex cheating and making up elaborate lies ended their relationship.
“When I found out my ex was cheating on me for weeks with a high school lover and covering it up by saying they were doing an outreach program to help youths on the street at night.”
• Jane reveals that no one cheated, but she didn’t want to be the only one putting all the effort into her decade-long relationship.
“I knew it was over when I stopped putting all the effort into the relationship and instead focused on myself, and suddenly it all fell apart.”
• Jen said it was sleuthing that made her realize her partner was living an outrageous double life.
“I found his supposed ex-wife’s Instagram, and it was showing photos of their current family holiday … he had told me he was at a work conference.”
• Ally said she knew she and her ex weren’t kindred spirits when it dawned on her that if they stayed together, she’d have to spend the rest of her life dealing with his family.
“When his mom called to yell at me on New Year’s Eve,” that was it for her.
Names have been changed for privacy.