An advice columnist didn’t hold back when a hapless mother wrote in asking what to do about her brother’s refusal to give her daughter a $1,000 cash gift for her wedding — after his niece banned him from the nuptials over his conservative views.
The mother, who signed herself “Angry in Philadelphia,” wrote to popular advice columnist Amy Dickinson’s “Ask Amy” column telling how her “very politically progressive” daughter asked that her conservative-minded uncle Dave not be invited to her wedding.
“Although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor,” the mother wrote.
“I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited.”
“Dave did not respond and did not attend,” she added.
The mother wrote that after the wedding, she sent Dave photos from it “to make him feel like he was not being totally left out,” but he never responded and hasn’t responded to anything since. She added that her other siblings were angry at her over the whole affair.
But the mother was just getting started.
“Another problem is that Dave has not sent my daughter and son-in-law a wedding gift,” she wrote, explaining that her brother has always given family members over $1,000 in cash as wedding gifts, and her daughter was upset she’d not received anything from him.
“Dave’s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me,” she wrote. “How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior?”
“Please don’t tell me that I’m the one who started this by not inviting my brother to the wedding. After all, he’s a grown man, while my daughter is young and just starting out.”
Starting with a summation of the events, Amy didn’t hold back with her advice.
“Let’s recap: Your delicate daughter is too frightened to be near a conservative voter to allow her uncle ‘Dave’ to attend her wedding,” she wrote.
“She then asks you to do her dirty work for her, and (of course) you do!” Amy wrote, then explained that sending Dave the photos from the wedding was only rubbing his nose in his banishment.
“But it’s your second ‘problem’ which I believe will enter the Bridezilla Hall of Infamy,” Amy said.
“In short: Brides who are too afraid of family members to invite them to a family wedding don’t then get the pleasure of receiving their money.”
“You seem almost as afraid of your daughter as she is of your brother, but I hope you’ll find a way to courageously tell her that the Bank of Uncle Dave is closed, at least to your branch of the family.”
Dickinson closed by advising that Dave was the only person in the situation behaving appropriately and that the mother should do as he was doing: “steering clear, which is exactly what you have asked him to do.”